Everyone knows that law school is just like high school. With that, here’s all the gossip from JG and the rest of Morningside. And now that finals are here, there’s more to talk about than ever.
OVERHEARD: P and B stressing about the new law school newspaper. Are they worried we’ll find out all their secrets? I thought censorship was something that only happened in the movies, but CLS is in the midst of their very own Hunger Games dystopian society, post-recession. (It’ll take place in Central Park.) Don’t worry buddies, we’ll only tell the good stuff. [Three finger salute].
The search for the Dean is on, and while there are only a few students in the know, of course, I’m one of them. Rumor has it, notable law school alumni Marshall Eriksen is on the short list. Good thing his HIMYM lawyer gig is ending, and right on time. Please don’t bring Barney with you; we all know the 1L girls are easy prey.
Apparently there’s going to be a cheerleading squad for Dean’s Cup. Will the squad help the good ole’ CLS bring it, or has it already been brought-en by NYU? Honestly, let’s just hope they can keep the cheer-sex to a minimum. Spirit fingers included.
SPOTTED: S & L looking quite cozy after the Law Revue show. Can they try any harder to be like B & J? Aca-awkward! Will this Tort Story couple get a Disney Happily ever after? This may be law school musical interrupted for now. But of course, I’ll be watching.
Ladies, a certain 3L is off the market. Don’t worry, you can keep up with all the new couple’s comings and goings via Facebook. We wish them all the best—health, wealth, and happiness. Maybe we’ll crash the wedding. Rule #8: Be the life of the party. But you didn’t have to tell me that.
A saving E from falling down the steps. E—if you can’t walk in heels, tip: don’t wear them…especially around the law school. This isn’t “She’s All That”; taking off your glasses 2L year won’t make you hot. Your goal should just be to try not to get arrested by the fashion police. ‘Cause you’ll have to report that to the bar. And if you don’t, we will. As everyone who passed the MPRE knows [SHOUT OUT], there’s a duty to report.
C & M looking quite cozy in the stacks of Diamond. C—we know diamonds are a girl’s best friend, but not this one. Don’t you know about the bedbugs? What happens in Diamond doesn’t stay in Diamond.
M leaving Lionsgate in the same clothes she wore last night to bar review. A scandal may be on your hands. Better call Olivia Pope. Oh, and de Vininimus. You know how she loves her red wine.
Is any of this true? I’ll never tell. Did I make things up? You’ll never know. You know you love me.